I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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