dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
