next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
