I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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