I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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