We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
