i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
