I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
