Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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