It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
