At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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