My nipple is on Facebook.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize