I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
