My brain says no but my pants say off.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize