everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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