It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
