Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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