accomplished twins. life is a go
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
