is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
