I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The air taste purple.
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