Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize