If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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