that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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