he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
