if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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