I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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