I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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