I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
