He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
