don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
