There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
