i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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