Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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