Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
