so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize