Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
