its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
