u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize