"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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