I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
