It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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