that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize