no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
