Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Mom said you looked used
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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