In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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