I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
