Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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