He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
