And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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