If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
