I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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