this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
