Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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