Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just blew my weed a kiss
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
