Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
