So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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