I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
