What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
