JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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