Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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