stop calling my apartment porn island.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
