They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
